An addiction is behavior a person cannot control that leads to detrimental consequences.

Behavior:
The behavior could be related to substances, such as: alcohol, drugs or food.
Or it could be activity-related, involving, for example: sex, sleep, exercise, or work.
Addictions like smoking, drug abuse or alcoholism must be stopped completely to be overcome.
Other addictions should be controlled rather than stopped. For instance, overeating is handled by controlling one's eating - not by starvation.

One does not truly overcome a sexual addiction by resorting to celibacy.

Sexual addiction is overcome by dealing with the underlying problems that lead to addictive sexual behavior, thus enabling the client to have an enjoyable rather than an addictive sex life.

Detrimental or not?:

If a person engages in compulsive behavior which is not detrimental, the behavior is not addictive. For instance, if you must have something to read while waiting in the doctor's office, that is not addictive. But if you compulsively read rather than face the problems in your life, you are addicted to reading.

If you enjoy sex, it does not mean you're addicted. If, however, your sexual activity hinders your relationships, keeps you from forming a long-term, honest, loving relationship, or compels you to be deceptive, you are definitely addicted.

In control, yes or no?

You can tell if your behavior is out of control by observing if you can keep it from becoming detrimental.
Eating is not detrimental and should be enjoyable. But if you cannot stop eating before it becomes a negative force in your life, then you are out of control.
Having an intense sexual appetite is not addictive. If satisfying your sexual needs brings you and your partner closer together, then you're not addicted.
If your sexual needs lead you to promiscuity, distant relationships, pedophilia, short-term flings, compulsive masturbation or a dependency on pornography, you're out of control.

Special traits of sexual addiction

Sexually addictive behavior is not a matter of how many times you have sex. If you have sex 5 times a day it does not necessarily mean you are addicted.
Sex is about relationships. If the relationship between you and your partner is meaningful and monogamous and you both have the time, energy, and desire to have sex 5 times a day, you are engaging in enjoyable sex.

On the other hand, if you have sex only once a month but it is with a prostitute, you are addicted because the sex is meaningless and impersonal, thus detrimental to you.

Sexual addiction is driven by what a person wants from relationships. Does the person want a relationship based on intimacy, openness and commitment? Or do they want to experience a series of sensations without commitment?

Sexual addiction is overcome not just by addressing the behavior. What the person seeks in a relationship is actually more important than the behavior.

Sexually addicted people do not have a sexual problem. They have a relationship problem that manifests itself sexually.

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