The Most Personal Addiction

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Sexual Addiction - Misconceptions To Avoid

Chapter 12

Misinformation about addiction is another cause of failure

Knowing how to approach the problem is a necessary ingredient for success. Knowing what is not true about the problem can be more important. Since we live in a media-driven world, you will be bombarded with mistaken ideas about addiction for a long time to come. You need to be aware of them so that your attempt to overcome sex addiction is not hindered by misconceptions.

Let's discuss some of the more popular ones.

Myth: Positive addictions are good for you:

There is no such thing as a positive addiction because all addictions are self-destructive.

Myth: Certain substances are addictive:

This is probably the biggest myth of all.

In fact, your use of a substance *might* become addictive. For instance:

-After surgery many patients are allowed to self-administer morphine. Morphine is the medical form of heroin, and just as powerful. Yet most people who rely on morphine after surgery don't get addicted to it.

-Tens of millions of people smoked marijuana. You might be one of them. Relatively few use it to the point of abuse.

-Most people experimented with alcohol. You may have. Few became alcoholics.

-Millions of people experimented with cocaine, crack and other hard drugs. Maybe you did. Relatively few became drug addicts.

The difference between the person who becomes addicted and the person who doesn't has nothing to do with the substance. The difference lies in the choice each person makes regarding the use of the substance. Look at your own life. You made choices about substance abuse.

Substances don't take you over and make you act addictively any more than:

-Books make you read.

-Cars make you drive.

-Water makes you thirsty.

Myth: An addiction is a moral failing:

Morality and addiction are two different phenomena. For instance, molesting a child is much more of a moral issue than an addictive one. A person with an overeating addiction is not immoral, just someone with a problem.

Myth: Addictions are hereditary:

Some "scholars" claim there's an alcohol gene that makes people become lifetime drunks. Reality proves them wrong.

There are millions of people who have alcoholic parents and do not get addicted to alcohol or drugs.

Millions of people get addicted to alcohol and/or drugs whose parents never abused either.

Myth: Addictions are caused by sneaky advertising and evil corporations. Supposedly:

-Advertising causes people to smoke and drink.

-Pornography causes people to act sexually addictive.

-Movies cause people to use drugs.

These arguments assume that you have no free will, that you are merely a product of the media marketplace. So, let's look at a few facts:

-Tens of millions of people were addicted to smoking and alcohol in the former Soviet Union and there was no advertising allowed for either.

-There are millions of sexually addicted people who have no interest in pornography. They prefer the real thing or to use their own imagination.

-Drug use was widespread long before Hollywood showcased it.

Addictions are not caused by the marketplace; they arise from choices a person makes to escape dealing with the demands of real life.

Now that we've gotten some of the myths out of the way, let's discuss real symptoms of sex addiction.

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Articles in this category

For The Man In A Relationship Troubled By Sex Addiction | Is He Sexually Addicted | Did you lose a good relationship or never have one? | The Key To Mental Health and Overcoming Sex Addiction | You Have What It Takes To Stop Sex Addiction | Stop Sex Addiction Here and Now Naturally | Rely On Yourself To Stop Sexual Addiction | Work With The Mind To Stop Sex Addiction | How To Be In Control Of A Sexual Addiction | How To Find Competent Help To Overcome Sex Addiction | Sexual Addiction - Why People Become Addicted | Sexual Addiction - Misconceptions To Avoid | Sexual Addiction and The Symptoms of Addiction | Why Sexual Addiction Is A Unique Addiction | How I Overcame Sex Addiction |

Contact Info

Dear Joe,

When I first contacted you, I had tried to quit "cold-turkey" many, many times before. After acting out my addiction, I would swear that this was the last time and I'm never going to do this again. But, as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I would be back to my addiction within weeks, if not days.

I contacted several people from sex addiction support groups. Every one had the same advice for me: Get into a twelve step program and start attending as many meetings as I possibly could. Well, that simply would not work for me. After I read your book, I called you, and after one conversation, I decided that I wanted you to help me.

Thanks to you, I am now able to have a normal, intimate relationship with my wife. I thought that I had loved her as much as I possibly could. But, during the counseling, I saw that my addiction was actually getting in the way of our relationship. I was indulging in this fantasy world that I had built up around me and I had little intimacy left over for my wife. Needless to say, this was having a negative impact on us not to mention making me feel guilty all of the time. Now, I'm more fully able to express my love for her, both emotionally and physically.

My work has improved as well, as a result of your counseling. I don't spend hours every day trying to appease my addiction. Needless to say, this has greatly increased my productivity at work.

For the first time in my life, I have hope. I can finally look at myself in the mirror and be happy about the kind of person that I am. I know, at last, that I am being true to myself; that I am being the kind of person that I always knew I was deep inside: a loving, faithful husband. For this, you have my undying gratitude.

Bertram [real name withheld]

If you would like to know more about how sex addiction is overcome, it will be my pleasure to spend a half hour talking to you and advising you about how to overcome your addiction at no charge.Whatever you tell me will stay in confidence. I will not try to make you feel guilty. I will not try to humiliate you. I will try to help you. Even if we never talk again, you will find that the time you and I spend speaking to each other will be beneficial to you.

You're welcome to call me at: 866-414-CONTROL (866-414-2668) 

Call 877-332-2869 if the circuits are busy (International calls: 805-214-1377)

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The Most Personal Addiction Copyright © 2002-2013 by Joe Zychik,
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission from the publisher, except that portions may be used in broadcast or printed commentary or review when fully attributed to the author and publication by names.
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This book is intended as a guide to understanding sexual addiction and to suggest a method of overcoming it. The advice rendered by the author in this book is based solely on his experiences in over 38 years of personal counseling. The author does not guarantee any certain result to the reader of this book. The author and the publisher shall not be responsible to the reader or any third party for any action or inaction by an individual who attempts to apply the methods set out in the book.