Help For Sex Addiction

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The Best Sex And Overcoming Sex Addiction

"It was the best sex I ever had," the client told me. I was not surprised.

Was it advice about a new position, a new drug, a new game, a new aide that enabled the client to enjoy the best sex of his life? Of course not.

The best sex is caused by what goes on inside you and not from some external gimmick.

So what was it that enabled this client to have dynamite sex like he had never had before? More importantly, what is it that can enable you to experience the greatest sex of your life? This kind of sex is so thrilling you will feel like a new person and you will want to shout, "Give me more!" The beauty of it is you will be able to get more, plenty more.

There is a sad part. The sad part is not that it costs more than you could ever afford. It won't take years of studying a new spirituality. You won't have to leave your home. You won't have to do anything bad to yourself or anyone else. The sad part is that you probably don't think it's possible. That's OK, because most sexually addicted people believe that their sexual addiction is the best sex they can have.

Actually, addictive sex is the least enjoyable form of sex.

-But sexual addiction does have its appeal:

-It enables you to be in complete control.

-You can't be rejected.

-You can't fail.

-You do get a thrill.

-You can't lose - until it's over.

-Then reality sets in.

I don't have to tell you about the consequences of reality. What you need from me is the secret of great sex.

Here it is:

Non-addictive, genuine loving sex in a real relationship is the absolute best sex there is. It is the greatest high, the greatest thrill, the greatest charge in life.

The client you read about in the first paragraph experienced it through this counseling. Many, many clients have. Let's find out why.

In this counseling you start by understanding that you have a natural, inborn need for good sex. Natural sex is not something to feel guilty about. It is not something to be denied, repressed or resisted. But it is something that can be abused. When the natural need for sex is abused it becomes an addictive compulsion.

Once you become addicted, the natural desire for genuine, loving sex is overwhelmed by the addictive compulsion to escape. Which brings us to the question: Escape what?

In a word: "life." In a phrase: "the troubles, difficulties and hassles of living."

When sex is used as an escape it is not really a pleasure. It's a relief. There is a profound difference between pleasure and relief. Relief is like banging your head against the wall because it feels good when you stop.

Pleasure is the enjoyment of a healthy mind and body.

The difference between addictive sex and natural sex is the difference between screwing and making love.

When you screw someone you use their body to provide you with a thrill. When you make love you are emotionally involved. Your body is an expression of the feelings you have for that person. Their body is an expression of the feelings they have for you.

-Addictive sex screws you. Natural sex spiritually nourishes you.

-Addictive sex screws you because:

-It overwhelms your need for natural sex.

-It entices you into a life of compulsion.

-It fills you with fantasies that can never come true.

-It puts up a barrier between you and reality.

-It separates you from real emotions.

-It teaches you to hide, to sneak and to live with shame and guilt.

Natural sex is not shameful. It doesn't lead to guilt. It entices you to enjoy life and to enjoy yourself and your partner. It fills you with real emotions, not fantasies. It teaches you to love life. It can make you laugh, cry, sing, dance, or just fall asleep blissfully. It fills you with a special, wonderful feeling that you can't get any other way. It makes addictive sex look like a bad joke told by a boring stand-up comic in a sleazy nightclub.

So how does someone tell the difference between their natural sex drive and their addictive sex drive?

-As a general rule - not true in all cases - sex outside of a healthy relationship is addictive. For instance:

-Going to prostitutes is a definite sign of sexual addiction.

-Using pornography to the extent that you neglect your partner in real life is another sign of sexual addiction.

-Or using pornography as a substitute for real sex is still another indication of being sexually addicted.

-Masturbation can be also indicate sexual addiction.

The Sex Addiction Interview can help you decide if you are sexually addicted or not.

The Most Personal Addiction, and Sex Addiction Help will enable you to get started in overcoming sex addiction correctly.

Menu: Home | The Most Personal Addiction | Sex Addiction Help | Porn Addiction | Masturbation Issues | Infidelity | For The Partner | Contact | Survey

Articles in this category

Motivation and Method To Overcome Sex Addiction Part 1 | Motivation and Method To Overcome Sex Addiction Part 2 | The First Obstacle To Overcoming Sex Addiction | The Best Sex And Overcoming Sex Addiction | The Joy Of Overcoming Sex Addiction | An Overview of Sex Addiction | The Complexities of Sexual Addiction | Types of sex addiction | Sexual Addiction and Self Deception | Sexual Addiction and Financial Issues | A Definition of Sex Addiction | Why Positive Realism Succeeds | Ethical Standards Of Counseling | Errors In The 12-Step Approach | Celibacy Is A Mistake |

Contact Info

Dear Joe,

When I first contacted you, I had tried to quit "cold-turkey" many, many times before. After acting out my addiction, I would swear that this was the last time and I'm never going to do this again. But, as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I would be back to my addiction within weeks, if not days.

I contacted several people from sex addiction support groups. Every one had the same advice for me: Get into a twelve step program and start attending as many meetings as I possibly could. Well, that simply would not work for me. After I read your book, I called you, and after one conversation, I decided that I wanted you to help me.

Thanks to you, I am now able to have a normal, intimate relationship with my wife. I thought that I had loved her as much as I possibly could. But, during the counseling, I saw that my addiction was actually getting in the way of our relationship. I was indulging in this fantasy world that I had built up around me and I had little intimacy left over for my wife. Needless to say, this was having a negative impact on us not to mention making me feel guilty all of the time. Now, I'm more fully able to express my love for her, both emotionally and physically.

My work has improved as well, as a result of your counseling. I don't spend hours every day trying to appease my addiction. Needless to say, this has greatly increased my productivity at work.

For the first time in my life, I have hope. I can finally look at myself in the mirror and be happy about the kind of person that I am. I know, at last, that I am being true to myself; that I am being the kind of person that I always knew I was deep inside: a loving, faithful husband. For this, you have my undying gratitude.

Bertram [real name withheld]

If you would like to know more about how sex addiction is overcome, it will be my pleasure to spend a half hour talking to you and advising you about how to overcome your addiction at no charge.Whatever you tell me will stay in confidence. I will not try to make you feel guilty. I will not try to humiliate you. I will try to help you. Even if we never talk again, you will find that the time you and I spend speaking to each other will be beneficial to you.

You're welcome to call me at: 866-414-CONTROL (866-414-2668) 

Call 877-332-2869 if the circuits are busy (International calls: 805-214-1377)

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Snail Mail: Positive Realism 9732 Pyramid Way #327 Sparks, NV 89441

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The Most Personal Addiction Copyright © 2002-2013 by Joe Zychik,
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission from the publisher, except that portions may be used in broadcast or printed commentary or review when fully attributed to the author and publication by names.
Although all events described in the book are factual, the actual characters described herein are composites of actual clients of the author. The composite character has been created and designed to protect the actual client's identity. Any similarity to a single individual, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
The statements made in the testimonials set forth in the book are made by individuals who have received personal counseling from the author and are based on the results of that counseling. The individuals were not compensated in any manner for the statements made. The original testimonials are in the possession of the publisher and may be viewed with the permission of the testifier and the publisher.
This book is intended as a guide to understanding sexual addiction and to suggest a method of overcoming it. The advice rendered by the author in this book is based solely on his experiences in over 38 years of personal counseling. The author does not guarantee any certain result to the reader of this book. The author and the publisher shall not be responsible to the reader or any third party for any action or inaction by an individual who attempts to apply the methods set out in the book.