The Most Personal Addiction

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How I Overcame Sex Addiction

Chapter 15

Dear Joe,

Thank you.

I was about to lose my wife of 10 years and go through my fourth divorce.

You see, I tried the Twelve Step Program no less than 10 times. I sought psychological counseling with five different psychologists not to mention one psychiatrist. I tried religion. My situation seemed hopeless and I was desperate. I sat at my computer and searched on sexual addiction and found your site. I took the interviews. I called you.

First, you helped my wife and I restore the foundation of our marriage.

Then you and I addressed my addictions to strip clubs, massage parlors, prostitutes, masturbation and pornography.

I have reached a point I never thought possible. My marriage is better than I had ever hoped it could be and I know how to keep it this way.

I no longer feel driven, controlled, or helpless to my situation. Joe, you have done something for me no one else has been able to do. I am 50 years old and have been trying to overcome this problem for 25 years. You have taught me how to regain control of my life.

There are good reasons for every principle in your approach. It makes sense. It works. Thank you for the happiness I finally feel in my life.


(Real name withheld)

I've been able to help people overcome addiction because through approaches I developed, I overcame four addictions:

  • a two- to three-pack-a-day smoking addiction

  • overeating

  • addictive gambling

  • sex addiction.

I started smoking when I was nine. By 14, I was smoking a pack a day. Fifteen years later I was up to three packs a day, feeling miserable, and constantly trying to quit.

Stop-smoking programs had sprung up across the country and I was willing to try anything.

I carefully looked into programs offered by private industry, charities, government, and universities. My research showed they didn't help most of the people who used them.

But my research had done me some good because until then I had not thought of using a program to stop; my attempts had been to "just do it." So, out of desperation, I went to work developing a program for myself.

Then I applied it. For the first time in my life, I was confident I had actually stopped smoking and felt good about it.

I realized that other people would want the same experience. So, in 1975, I made my program available.

Hardcore smokers who had tried everything for years successfully stopped with my program. Some came back and asked me to help them with alcohol and drugs.

I developed a program for them. It was so effective, I still use it today.

Some of the people I helped with alcohol and drugs told me about their sexual problems. That was how I came to the realization I was sexually addicted.

That did not shock me. Actually, I was glad to have put a name to a problem I had been struggling with since my teens.

What stunned me was the realization that if I did not overcome my sexual addiction, I would lose my marriage.

My wife and I had been together since 1977. We still are - happily.

I told her about my sex addiction as soon as I discovered it. She didn't put any pressure on me or make any threats. But I realized that if I did not overcome my addiction I would lose her.

It took me years to discover the information needed to overcome sexual addiction. She stayed with me because she saw I was honest with her and working at it. Her decision paid off wonderfully for both of us, and I don't mean financially. I mean true love.

Since 1983 I have been helping other couples and individuals deal successfully with sex addiction. One of the most important things I can pass on to you is: sex addiction can be overcome.

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Articles in this category

For The Man In A Relationship Troubled By Sex Addiction | Is He Sexually Addicted | Did you lose a good relationship or never have one? | The Key To Mental Health and Overcoming Sex Addiction | You Have What It Takes To Stop Sex Addiction | Stop Sex Addiction Here and Now Naturally | Rely On Yourself To Stop Sexual Addiction | Work With The Mind To Stop Sex Addiction | How To Be In Control Of A Sexual Addiction | How To Find Competent Help To Overcome Sex Addiction | Sexual Addiction - Why People Become Addicted | Sexual Addiction - Misconceptions To Avoid | Sexual Addiction and The Symptoms of Addiction | Why Sexual Addiction Is A Unique Addiction | How I Overcame Sex Addiction |

Contact Info

Dear Joe,

When I first contacted you, I had tried to quit "cold-turkey" many, many times before. After acting out my addiction, I would swear that this was the last time and I'm never going to do this again. But, as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I would be back to my addiction within weeks, if not days.

I contacted several people from sex addiction support groups. Every one had the same advice for me: Get into a twelve step program and start attending as many meetings as I possibly could. Well, that simply would not work for me. After I read your book, I called you, and after one conversation, I decided that I wanted you to help me.

Thanks to you, I am now able to have a normal, intimate relationship with my wife. I thought that I had loved her as much as I possibly could. But, during the counseling, I saw that my addiction was actually getting in the way of our relationship. I was indulging in this fantasy world that I had built up around me and I had little intimacy left over for my wife. Needless to say, this was having a negative impact on us not to mention making me feel guilty all of the time. Now, I'm more fully able to express my love for her, both emotionally and physically.

My work has improved as well, as a result of your counseling. I don't spend hours every day trying to appease my addiction. Needless to say, this has greatly increased my productivity at work.

For the first time in my life, I have hope. I can finally look at myself in the mirror and be happy about the kind of person that I am. I know, at last, that I am being true to myself; that I am being the kind of person that I always knew I was deep inside: a loving, faithful husband. For this, you have my undying gratitude.

Bertram [real name withheld]

If you would like to know more about how sex addiction is overcome, it will be my pleasure to spend a half hour talking to you and advising you about how to overcome your addiction at no charge.Whatever you tell me will stay in confidence. I will not try to make you feel guilty. I will not try to humiliate you. I will try to help you. Even if we never talk again, you will find that the time you and I spend speaking to each other will be beneficial to you.

You're welcome to call me at: 866-414-CONTROL (866-414-2668) 

Call 877-332-2869 if the circuits are busy (International calls: 805-214-1377)

skype-icon Skype joe.zychik

Monday thru Friday 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Pacific Time Ask for Joe Zychik

Snail Mail: Positive Realism 9732 Pyramid Way #327 Sparks, NV 89441

Please note:
THE BEST WAY TO CONTACT ME IS BY PHONE. I do not answer questions or counsel by e-mail. It is too impersonal. Thank you.

I am not taking in new clients at this time. If you would like to be on a waiting list, please call.

(International callers' FAQ click here)


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