Why Sexual Addiction Is A Unique Addiction
People are not born with a natural desire to get drunk on alcohol, get high on drugs or distort their minds with prescription medication.
We are born with natural, healthy desires for sex, work, and eating.
Addictions that stem from the misuse of a natural drive such as sex addiction, overeating, and workaholism need to be treated differently from addictions based on artificial drives, such as alcoholism, drug addiction, and smoking. Here's why:
Natural drives need to be fulfilled.
If you attempt to completely eliminate an addiction based on a natural drive, you will be in conflict with nature. Going through life without sex or work leads to frustration, depression, and anxiety. If you completely stop eating you die.
Naturally based addictions are more complex.
A person with a naturally based addiction experiences their natural healthy desire to eat, or make love, or be productive. S/he also experiences an addictive desire to overeat, act sexually addictive, or overwork.
To overcome a naturally based addiction, the person needs to be able to distinguish between these two drives. With substance abuse the person only needs to focus on the addictive drive because there is no natural drive associated with it.
Substances can destroy the mind.
Let's take a look at Sarah the alcoholic and Curtis the porn addict. Both go on an all-night binge.
At the end of his binge, Curtis feels disgusted, exhausted, depressed, and guilty. He is also able to carry on a conversation and do simple tasks like drive a car. His ability to reason and draw rational conclusions is intact.
Sarah also feels disgusted, exhausted, depressed, and guilty at the end of her binge. But her problems don't stop there.
When the morning sun comes up, Sarah isn't able to reason; she probably doesn't even know where she is or what she did. She is incapable of the simplest tasks like walking or driving. She might hallucinate; she might break out in tears or rage for no apparent reason; she is incoherent and obnoxious.
As bad as sex addiction is, substance addictions are worse. Those who share Sarah's problem know it too well. So do their friends and family.
Substances can cause more destructive personality changes.
An overeater or a sexually addicted person goes through mood swings caused by their addictive behavior. A substance abuser experiences more than just a mood swing. A substance abuser becomes a different person.
After a person goes on a porn binge, he doesn't walk into a bar looking for a fight. Some alcoholics do.
An overeater might be too sensitive to criticism. But someone under the influence of drugs will go beyond oversensitivity. They will verge on paranoia.
A workaholic might feel isolated and unappreciated, while someone hooked on prescription medication will feel hated and hopeless.
If you've ever lived with an alcoholic, a drug addict or someone hooked on prescription medication, you know the hell that substance abuse causes. If you have never been in a relationship with a substance abuser, consider yourself fortunate if for no other reason than the following:
Substance abuse worsens other addictions.
The unique driving force behind sexual addiction is the attempt to escape the natural, healthy need for intimacy.
Some people escape intimacy more than others. Some escape differently than others. But all sexually addicted people have one thing in common:
To some degree, every sexually addicted person flees from intimacy and turns to fantasy to meet his or her needs for a healthy, loving intimate sexual relationship.
You don't have to analyze your childhood, change your environment, wipe out stress, or chemically alter your mind to overcome sex addiction. The answer to your addiction lies in two challenges:
Dealing with your intimacy issues and
Correctly stopping sexually addictive behavior.
You might be wondering:
"Can I do it? Can I really overcome my sex addiction? I've struggled with it for years. I feel shame about it. I feel guilt about it. It's ruining me and everything I love. Can this horrible secret I live with really be overcome?"
I'll answer the question with two questions:
"Are you willing to be honest?"
"Are you willing to work hard to achieve your goal?"
If your answer is "Yes," all you need is knowledge. You can gain that knowledge by using this book and your own experience as the guides.
Articles in this categoryFor The Man In A Relationship Troubled By Sex Addiction | Is He Sexually Addicted | Did you lose a good relationship or never have one? | The Key To Mental Health and Overcoming Sex Addiction | You Have What It Takes To Stop Sex Addiction | Stop Sex Addiction Here and Now Naturally | Rely On Yourself To Stop Sexual Addiction | Work With The Mind To Stop Sex Addiction | How To Be In Control Of A Sexual Addiction | How To Find Competent Help To Overcome Sex Addiction | Sexual Addiction - Why People Become Addicted | Sexual Addiction - Misconceptions To Avoid | Sexual Addiction and The Symptoms of Addiction | Why Sexual Addiction Is A Unique Addiction | How I Overcame Sex Addiction |